Daily Devotional For Sunday, June 21, 2026

Good morning and Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers. In biblical days, the father was the head of the family and had all authority. He could even kill his children without any punishment. Fathers preferred sons over daughters and if a baby girl was born, they were sometimes killed.  Ephesians 6:4 states:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (NASB).

Parenting is tough and no one is born with all the skills necessary to be a godly parent. God gives a warning to fathers here so that their children do not walk away from the Lord. Let’s break this down. “Provoke to anger” is one Greek New Testament words – [παροργίζω; parorgizō]. “Para” means with and “orgizo” refers to extreme out of control passion such as anger. This is where we get our English words orgasmic and orgasm.

Literally this means, do not provoke your children to anger so that they begin to seethe with resentment and irritation like lava in a volcano ready to explode any moment. There are several ways fathers can provoke their children to anger:

1. Showing favoritism – we see this with the rivalry and hatred in the Old Testament in how Isaac related to Esau and not Jacob. When parents and especially fathers compare their children to each other in their presence, it causes a dormant volcano to start fuming. When one son or daughter is more athletic than another, to highlight that difference only causes a dormant volcano to start smoldering.
2. Over protection – parents who smother their children with overprotection. Pastor and author John MacArthur writes this: “Parents who smother their children, overly restrict where they can go and what they can do, never trust them to do things on their own, and continually question their judgment build a barrier between themselves and their children—usually under the delusion that they are building a closer relationship. Children need careful guidance and certain restrictions, but they are individual human beings in their own right and must learn to make decisions on their own, commensurate with their age and maturity. Their wills can be guided but they cannot be controlled” (Source: John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Bible Commentary, “Ephesians,” p. 317).
3. Constant fault-finding without consistent encouragement – when parents and fathers are constantly pointing out to their child every fault, every wrong, and every error is provoking their children to anger. Such children will do everything to avoid coming home or being home.This means that praising one’s child has to exceed the fault-finding in one’s child.
4. Inconsistency –  when parents live a life that says, “Do what I say; not what I do,” a volcano starts to smolder. Children understand their parents are human and will sin. The key is not always the chronic inconsistency, but the failure to take personal responsibility for it. If the inconsistency is chronic as well as the apologies, then this irritates a child because they do not see their parents or father attempting to mature and improve in an area as they want their child to improve. In this case, the parent or father needs to make an effort, not give a repetitious lame excuse. The provoking described here refers to a righteous resentment of actions or attitudes inconsistent with one’s faith commitments. A provoked child is one who has a right to be provoked because of the incongruities between a parent’s stated beliefs and that parent’s actual behaviors
5. Pushing achievement beyond the child’s abilities. I have seen so many parents attempt to live vicariously through their children' s lives. They push them to play multiple sports, excel in every course at school, and soon, the child learns that nothing they do will be good enough. Once one achievement is finished, the parent is cramming another one down their throat.
6. Neglect – This comes in all kinds of ways. There are fathers who are so about building their career, they do not spend quality and quality time with their children. Oh, they provide for the physical needs of their children, but not their emotional needs. Neglect comes when "Christian" fathers neglect their own personal walk with the Lord. The child sees it and they judge not only their earthly father, but God their heavenly Father for it. When parents or a father make comments to their child or children about what their life would be like without them, the child smolders. 
7. Lack of normalcy – When a parent or father is always on a child for being “childish,” especially when they are young or a teen, creates a smoldering volcano in the child. A child or teen will be silly, immature. Expecting them to always act like an adult is unfair to the child. I am not talking about when they are throwing a temper tantrum or are disrespectful, but when they are trying to be funny and are chided for it.
8. Using love as a reward or withholding it as punishment.There are parents and fathers who withhold love when a child is disobedient, or makes decisions the parent does not approve of. Sometimes this is unconscious by the parent but the child senses it. There are “Christian” parents who are embarrassed and ashamed their child is living an immoral lifestyle. Instead of keeping the door open, they basically keep it closed. In doing this, they are smoldering the emotional volcano of their child into more of this lifestyle. Is this how God our heavenly Father treats us? NO! I know of a child whose mother got so mad at her that she did not speak to her child for 3 whole days. She took care of her child’s physical needs, but not her emotional ones. Today, that child is an adult and it is as vivid today as it was then.
9. Public embarrassment, not leaving room for freedom of expression and personal growth. Making unreasonable demands of perfection –Christina Crawford (the adopted daughter of Joan Crawford) wrote a biography about her life with her mother and titled it: Mommie Dearest. Unfortunately, Joan Crawford was not a “dear” mommie and demanded perfection. “No more wire hangers”, was screamed at Christina when she was putting up Joan’s dresses.
10. Unfair or extreme discipline that does not match the offense. This means that not all children in a family respond the same way to the same discipline. Seeking a godly child expert in this area shows love and maturity on the part of the parent. When I became a teen, my mother quickly changed her discipline techniques on me. Instead of whipping me, she would ground me. I would beg her to whip me because it would be over quickly, but she would not back down. She adapted her discipline on me and I adapted my obedience to her. 

God says fathers, ‘bring them up.” This is the Greek New Testament word [ἔκτρωμα; ektrōma] and it is often translated as “gentleness.” It means to “nourish or feed, to kindly cherish” your children gently with what they need. How? With training – this is the Greek New Testament word παιδεία; paideia] and it is often translated as “discipline.” There are times a child has to be corrected with the right amount of discipline (Pr. 19:18; Pr. 15:3; Heb. 12:11). Abuse of any kind is sinful and criminal.

How? With instruction” – this is the Greek New Testament word [νουθεσία; nouthesia]. This word means “to put before the mind.” It is used to refer to using some positive confronting against wrong immediately before that wrong becomes a habit or part of one’s character. In the Old Testament, the priest Eli was a terrible father and it cost him his life and the life of his sons. New Testament scholar Bryan Chapel writes this:

“The essence of parental love is recognizing that we are the dispensers of God’s grace into our children’s lives. They learn to identify and revere God’s character through the way we treat them both in moments of profound pride and in times of intense disappointment” (Source: Bryan Chapel, Reformed Expository Bible Commentary, “Ephesians,” p. 318).

Reflection Assignment: Take a moment and look over the list of 10 things that can provoke our children to anger. If you are a parent, which of these do you need to improve with God’s help? If you are not a parent but went through these, take a moment to forgive your parents for their failure in any of these. Let it go so that you can go on with your life.

Scripture To Meditate On: Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart” (NASB).

Prayer To Pray: “Lord, help me to be the parent I need to be to the children You have given me. Help me to take personal responsibility with and before my children for sins and failures they witness. Help me to mature in these areas, Lord. I love You Lord. In Jesus’ name, Amen!”

I love you Southside! – Pastor Kelly